{4/366 | Texx} The Hammock ~ for Raf

It’s been a long emotional day. I’m missing my brother so much, it hurts to breath. To get through it I took a lot of pics, and my choice is my  very first photo from sunrise this morning. Every year on his Birthday (today)  and day of his memorial (8/24) I take a photo at sunrise. Usually, I’d go to the water throw my flowers in and take a picture of the glory that is the start of a new day.

We moved here to Texas with only one car and The Hubs took the mini-me to school. So, I went into the backyard thinking I’d get a lame couple of shots and then try again at sunset. Sunset, when we’d go to the water and remember my beautiful brother and soak in a little more life. Every picture I took today was a keeper, straight off the camera. Posting this has taken so long because it’s been hard to decide. And I have an ailing Mama B who I fear isn’t going to make it much longer. She’s asked me to hold her hand a few times tonight, and she never does that.  As selfish as this is, I just pray she doesn’t leave us tonight. Not tonight.

I chose The Hammock. One of my favorite pictures of Raf is a self-portrait, he took while  he was a squatter (with a job) on a beach in St. John’s, US Virgin Island. That is the photo below. He told me what a pain it was to take that film-photo, as he had to run back and forth across beach to set the timer then run, jump back in the hammock, but try to  keep it still and look like he was reading.   He gave that picture to our parents and grandparents for Christmas that year. From that island he sailed, on a lake sail boat, down into open seas (kind of stupid) into a port in Venezuela. He dreamt he could do it, he didn’t listen to the naysayers, he did it.

So I took this photo while Mini-me was on her way to school. While I  picked her up from school this afternoon, I happened to go upstairs (we usually do pick-up downstairs) and I  ran into the Teacher’s Aide  in the hall.  She  stopped me and said, “Abby made a hammock today! She made a hammock in Art.” She for some reason was so excited and felt compelled to tell me…

I wept. In the hall of her new school and I couldn’t stop the tears. They just flowed down my face and they all looked at me like I was nuts. Why would she be so excited about Abby making a hammock in Art Class? Why would Abby make a hammock in art class, today, of all days?

It’s how I know he’s still here with me.

Happy 40th Birthday Big Brother!
Love Always & Forever,
Your Little Sister ~ PhotogHer’s Texx